July 13, 1991
Saturday noonI noticed you sent my postcard from San Francisco. Getting Merv-ish in our old age? At least he has the excuse of being cheap. What's yours?
Speaking of the Professor I'm having dinner with him and Robert Lenardon at the Athletic Club this evening. That means I have to dress up and the weather is unbearable today. Hot, rainy and just plain bad.
James Revson died. He was the gossip columnist at Newsday who was in the jail cell next to mine at the City hall demo. He also started "Suzygate" which I think he should go down in history for.
Who says the Times is not on the cutting edge of immunodeficiency reporting? See attached on "Flopsy." [note: attachment lost].
All museum directors should have their tongues cut out and their fingers chopped off (see Sol LeWitt article) [note: attachment lost]. Imagine! a naked woman as an object of the male gaze!! can't have that kind of thing now can we!!!
Paul's got a new infection and his temperature shot up to over 104. They've got him on a cold blanket that changes temperature according to a thermometer stuck up his butt. Hard to describe but it looks like R2D2. Delirium has set in and he keeps asking for something but we can't tell what it is. Things are just going to get worse and worse sometimes I think I should just sneak in and put a pillow over his head and get it over with. Since he's on TPN he looks OK but I think that just makes it worse, too. It's almost like a life support system and I know he didn't want that. Mark just keeps nursing him and telling himself he'll get better then is afraid to answer the phone at home because it might be the hospital calling in the middle of the night. We all just want it to be over, especially Paul. then we all feel guilty for thinking that.
Went to the beach again yesterday and had some fun though not as much as last time. windy and rough water but nice just the same. Straight couple next to me that I was fascinated by. The guy was really into being naked but she was a little more demure. He as a little chunky but not too bad and I think he liked being looked at. Come to think of it he disappeared for a while so maybe they weren't a couple after all. I read Pausanias.
Missed out on signing off the stat for my mailer but the woman at the gallery said it looked fine. Haven't I learned not to trust anybody?
Trying to stop smoking and that was one reason I went to the beach yesterday. Hard to run out and buy a pack and you have to be careful who you strike up a conversation with out there, you may get stuck with them. Nice to feel blood pulsing in areas that haven't gotten any for years. (Fingers, toes, penis).
Can't finish the two paintings I'm working on until I find Lascaux Varnish so I'm working on the essay. Somehow trying to merge driving through Greece with Merv and the theme "Journey Trace Locus" and the images in the paintings. I think it will be very confusing to everyone but me.
Paranoia is having all the facts.