January 16, 1986
4:11 amThinking of calling myself a non-photographer ... instead of a painter, a sculptor or an artist. It's possible the word "photographer" will become a derision in the future. I'm thinking of critic Jed Perl's critique of Cindy Sherman, his references to Baudelaire and the fact that he called her on the very thing she was doing ... the absence of personal involvement in her work. She's not there even if she is the person posing. Gertrude Stein said of Oakland there's no there there. Modernist.
But then . . . why is it so hard to call something these days. Because anything goes? I don't think so.
Invited Craig from work up for a beer and his pot. We got stoned and I fell out of lust for him ... a mental thing.
He's written six plays and is having his first production ... first rehearsal is tomorrow at 11:00. It is all exciting, isn't it?
He said my apartment has a sense about it ... that it's out of the sixties but doesn't quite make it (he claims to be over 21 but I don't think he is).
He liked the magazine pieces ... people seem to like them more than anything I've done. I know why but can't explain. It has something to do with photography, that people like photographs because they are "real."
A painting of some object goes through so many critical levels -- a photograph doesn't. People already "know" them, or think they could know them.
The advertising world is consumer oriented but they aren't good at it (most of the time) because they have to deal with the visual (image) world. That takes time and thought they don't have and money can't supply.
To bring out the art attribute in an image takes thought. Thinking about the relation to other form. And it takes a buffer to protect it. Like the "Finland Station". A "buffer" to decipher drift -- conception for the masses. Sting.
Craig has an agenda. He came to New York to have his plays produced and will, no doubt about it. If he doesn't he will go back home. He's learning New York fast. You have to say something or get ignored. Whatever you say stick to your guns even though you know you're wrong. He'd never heard of BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music). He said his play is producable but in an underground way (?!).
He may or may not be young. I had thought about detailing the start of a relationship between us here. But no. It won't be. Something about him disturbs me.
I'm at the point, I know, where I need someone to replace him.
Suppose to have lunch with Bill this week.
10:43 pm
Left work early, went to bank with Craig then walked home. He wanted to invite me up to meet his roommates. I said yes then decided against it saying I had to get home to get some organizing done. Also wanted to call T and ask about TNC (Theater for the New City). Craig has been trying to get them to read his play.
While walking down Second Avenue we passed a man from the bar I'd seen all the time but didn't know. He looked at Craig, not at me, and thought of Ned Rorem worrying that people will stop turning their heads when he passes.
Could get to work on AURA, finish the part about his parents. Have to go to Pearl Paint tomorrow to buy varnish and a frame.
Work on stories taken from the daily paper.